Wednesday, September 5, 2007

A little sad, but mostly good.

So this weekend was good. My mom came into town and we cleaned up and played games (see Sukie's blog) and watched movies... The best thing is how much cleaner my house is now. Since we moved in, we haven't really had a place for everything, but mom helped me to find a place for a lot of stuff (mostly the kitchen stuff) and now it's so much easier to put stuff away.


Daxsaito came and helped put on some doorknobs and stuff, too. We also went up to my grandparents and spent some time with them on Sunday and made them dinner... and broke their sink. But it's fixed now, so everything is back to happy!


The thing that I'm a little sad about now is that yesterday, I decided to drop all my classes. You can defer for a semester at BYU (or a few years, if it's for a mission) but you can't defer for just 1 year. So that means that I'll have to reapply as a former student (which apparently makes it not to difficult to get in). It's mostly good... because for one, I would be 8 mo pg at the end of the semester, which wouldn't be comfortable in those little desk chair combos. Also, we'd have to take out more student loans in order to pay for me this semester since we don't have the money saved up (we were just unprepared this year). It also gives me more time at home (since I'm working 40 hrs/ wk also) to get stuff done and relax a bit and actually get some sleep. The thing that makes me sad about it is that I just have this feeling like I'm giving up, even though I know I'm not. I haven't not gone to school in the fall since I was... 4? Before kindergarten anyway. I came to UT to get my degree, and now I'm stopping before I have it. I fully plan on going back, too, but plans don't always work out (thus I'm still in UT 4 years after coming to get a degree...)


So it was a hard decision, but I think it's the best for my sanity. I just have to deal with the disappointment that I have that I haven't finished yet and am right now not doing anything to finish. I was seriously crying about it yesterday when I had to click the little "D" next to all of my classes in my schedule. Esp the one that Frik and I were going to take together.


Speaking of Frik, you'll notice that his blog is down. It's not because of inappropriate content like mom thought, but because he accidentally gave his IP to a customer at work and didn't want them reading about his personal life. Maybe I can get him to move his blog over to my server so that the chances of him updating once in a while go from 0 to... about 2%.

7 comments:

  1. For what it's worth, I had the same sadness when I dropped all my classes the semester before I got married. We needed my tuition money to pay rent on our apartment so we'd have a place to live after we got married. It was especially sad afterwards when I'd go on campus and know that I wasn't a student anymore, so prepare for that feeling, too. But you haven't given up, sweetie. You're just pacing yourself. I love you.

    Mom

    (hey, the word "Forbidden" makes me think something bad got posted...)

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  2. Hey, if you take a class online will it count so that you can be deferred longer?

    Mom

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  3. You know, when I think "inappropriate content," Frik's blog just immediately pops into my mind. :)

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  4. hah, that's scary berserk...

    yeah, it's kindof comforting that you know what I'm feeling mom, but on the other hand, you didn't go back to school. So it makes me feel even more like I'm not gonna go back. But It can work out fine, I guess, I'd just hate to have put all this time into it just to not get a degree.

    I'll have to look into the online classes and student loans. That's something I could handle, 1 class. :)

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  5. Don't we have an update yet?

    Love you!

    Mom

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  6. Weird. There are five comments, but I can't get my link to update. It still says 4.

    Love you!

    Mom

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  7. You should update. really Really.

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