Sunday, March 14, 2010

baby Ty's Funeral and Raisins is Sticky

2 very different stories for today:

Yesterday was a funeral for baby Ty (a 4 1/2 mo old baby in our ward who died of SIDS on Wednesday). It was very sad to see his dad carrying his casket in all by himself, instead of the usual where they wheel it in. As his mom walked in behind him, she broke down crying and her knees buckled. She had to be supported by her mother in law who looked like she was practically carrying her in. I can't imagine the kind of strength it would take to bury your baby. It is an impossible task that I hope I am never challenged with.

The funeral was good. It was long, but everyone was hurting so I can't blame them for wanting to say as much as they could. There was a lot of family there. I think both parents had large families. The whole center section of the chapel was full of family members. The rest of the church up to 1 overflow was packed as well, with people in the foyers who couldn't get a seat inside.

He was a sweet little boy and he will be missed.

This morning, Alice woke up at 7:30 which was really 8:30 because of the Daylight Savings time. I'm not a fan of daylight savings. It just messes everything up. Oh well. I'm not so adamantly opposed to it that I would ever try to do anything to change it. Anyway, I told Alice that it was Sunday so we were going to church, and she started talking about bubbles and coloring and all the fun stuff they do in nursery. She was getting so excited. It was cute.

After a couple minutes, I realized I was too exhausted to go to church, so Erik took Alice and i slept the whole time they were gone. When they came home, Alice came upstairs to wake me up. I asked her what she did in Nursery, specifically if she had any snacks. She said "yeah. Pretzels and raisins". I said, "oh that's good. What else?" Her reply was "Raisins is sticky." It's true. Raisins are sticky.

Seeing the loss of a child makes me appreciate and want to spend more time hugging my own child. You forget how fragile their lives are and how you really need to enjoy every moment. I feel silly sometimes just wanting to tell everyone about all the cute things she says, like my life is just Alice. But it's true. Alice is my life and I'd rather only talk about her and report on her than on nothing.


  1. Of course Alice is your life. When we have children they are EVERYTHING to us, which is why that young mother nearly collapsed as her baby's casket was brought into the chapel. How do you live through something like that? I have no idea. But somehow she will go on. She will never get over it, but she will get through it.

    Never apologize for posting Alice stories. Those of us reading this blog are hungry to hear them. And whether or not we reply we are so grateful to have them. Plus you have a record of them that you can look back on. Hopefully we'll be sensitive enough to know when you need to hear our comments.

    Love you.


  2. Most of the dead child calls I've gone to have been false alarms, which is always a relief. The legit ones are really tough, though, even though I'm a complete stranger to these people.

  3. I think the reason it's tough even when it's a child we don't know is because the death of a child is every parent's worst nightmare.

    When a child dies, we desperately try to find a reason why so that we can reassure ourselves that it won't happen to us. In a case of SIDS, there is no "why," and we are more terrified because it can happen to anyone.

  4. I'm so sorry to hear about the baby's death. That is every parent's worst nightmare. They are so very precious. I saw my brother LR carrying their first baby's tiny little casket to her grave, too, remember, Susie? She was born premature and they couldn't save many preemies back then.

    I love hearing Alice stories, too, so keep them coming! It's a really wonderful time of your life, when your kids are little. Sometimes I cringe when I think back to how I must have bored everybody at the office with endless pictures of my kids when they were little. Oh well, enjoy it while it's here! It really goes by fast.

  5. That totally sucks.

    By the way, I see your baby counter says you have 185 days left of this pregnancy. Wanna know how I know I'm not ready for another baby? Because I look at that counter and think, "UGH, I feel so sorry for Carolyn."

    I hope you enjoy it more than I do, though. I'll be miserable for you! lol