Wednesday, March 14, 2012
Sigh
I'm frustrated with Facebook so I'm going to give blogging another shot. Why not, right?
I'm frustrated with Facebook because I want it to be something it's not. That is, I want it to be a place where I can talk about mentally stimulating stuff with friends and get opinions and feedback from people I know, and whose opinions I may value. Instead, I can only imagine the number of people who have me blocked entirely. It's weird, I just don't know how to approach it.
I think it would bother me less if people would come out and say "hey, you know what? I just don't want to see your stuff. It bothers me. I'm going to block/defriend you." That I can live with, or adapt to. What bothers me is the idea that I am just annoying people over and over and over again until they quietly block me or defriend me (both in the facebook sense and in the real life sense, but more importantly in the real life sense) and I'm carrying on like an idiot, largely (and naively) oblivious to the fact that I'm alienating people. Or maybe I'm not entirely oblivious, but I don't want to accept it.
Anyway... It's eating me up right now. A crappy end to an otherwise happy day. When everything is said and done I'd kill to have a mentally stimulating debate with anyone who's willing (and about any topic for that matter). All I can manage is pissing people off instead. I'd say I'm misunderstood but more likely it's my own failure to understand or anticipate the way others interpret my words. Either way, the net result is that I come off as an abrasive jerk (or so I've been told).
In the end I'm just way too isolated. I isolate myself. My social circle is about the size of a hoola-hoop. Sometimes I wish I weren't such an introvert; that I could just make small talk and had more in common with other people. I feel really good about a lot of things in my life. There are a lot of things that make me happy to be who I am and where I am, but there's a definite gap in my life and I'm not sure I can of fill it.
Also, I hate that this post comes off as whining. It's not supposed to be whining, it's just me thinking out loud. Trying to put my thoughts into words so I can get them out of my head.
...and now I sound crazy. Great.
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I think most people won't stir the pot when they feel it could damage meaningful relationships. I think this primal reaction to diverging opinions probably is wired in to our brains.
ReplyDeleteYou shouldn't be ashamed to have opinions, we all have them. While it may sound like punk rock lyrics, when you rattle the cage, the cage rattles you.
Again, not trying to be a dick, it's just looking like that.
ReplyDeleteTry to have a nice day.
I see it another way.
ReplyDeleteI never set out to start a fight or rattle the cage, I was only ever looking for a civil debate (preferably with emotions checked at the door). It was naive of me to think I that was possible.
I posted more about this in a blog entry, but what happens is that people tend towards a very emotional fight whenever politics are brought up. Things get tainted by their preconceptions and deep-rooted partisanship. Thus something innocuous very easily becomes a personal attack, and lines are drawn and the whole thing turns ugly.
Well, I don't think you are abrasive at all. In fact I would say you are one of the least abrasive people I know, whether we agree on a given topic or not. You give your opinions clearly and respectfully, nothing abrasive about it. That being said, I have also noticed as I have grown to know you over the last several years, you do not back down, you stand up for what you believe in. That also is not abrasive, but to someone hell-bent on making you see things his or her way it may be labeled as such. Doesn't make it true.
ReplyDeleteYour post wasn't whining.
Abrasive jerk? I'm hard pressed to think of two words I'd be less likely to use to describe you.
ReplyDeleteI'm always up for an argument (emotions checked at door), but unless we were talking about criminal law, I doubt that I could keep up with you.