Word Verification Profanity.

I just caught one of those word verification things saying "fuhqus". How rude!
Other than that, not much to report. I just had my second pampered chef party and it was fun. I think i'm starting to get the hang of it. Anyone else wanna host a party? :)

Give all your money to the government. Now easier than ever!

I finally got the car registered today. Officer Nice Guy from a few days ago informed us that after 3 months of expired registration they can/will impound the car if they catch it out on the street. Today was the last day of our third month with the expired registration, so there was some additional motivation to get it taken care of.

So this morning, having accepted the fact that my whole day would be spent waiting in line, I reluctantly set out to face my destiny. I guess I must have somehow slipped into an alternate reality though, because there was no line at the DMV! I walked in, took a number, sat in a fairly comfortable chair in the waiting area for maybe 10 minutes, heard my number called, paid the robot-like man at the window (who, in-turn, rewarded me with a shiny gold star blue decal), and I was out of there, with my sanity intact, less than a fortnight later!

From there my day only got better when I stumbled across... Cupcakes of Catan!

Who needs ray-tracing and reflective shiny balls when there's cupcakes? This has got to be the most deliciously entertaining game ever conceived by man:

A heavy rock

Darling I just returned from my daily swim on the beautiful Fijian beach and realised I have not updated this since Hammertime was in the charts... You would not believe how heavy that rock really is. Truly!.

I am totally and utterly flat out with feeding the little people, rock crushing, just generally being the life of the party to my psychologist, my day sprawls from sun up to reef break. I am totally loving it, dudes. but this damned rock is heavy.

I won't promise anything to you but if one more person emails me to ask why I haven't posted today I will start posting pictures of toe fungus, or fecal murals. Fully! Assuming I don't get distracted by counting my chest hairs..

Not for the feint of heart

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4YHoeSVLWdM]

Not quite a secretary, but it gets the job done

I just found a way to outsource my blog posts to Australia. The results aren't exactly golden, but its a great time saver:

Geez I just climbed out from under my rock and realized I have not updated this since I had to start working to pay the ridiculous food and petrol prices to feed my kids... You would not believe how much it's costing me. But I'm sorry you'll just have to take my word for it..

I am lost in a sea of pseudo-olde-english with only your readership as life preserver, hoping you haven't found other blogs, just generally being a terrible burden to anyone unfortunate to cross my path, my day seems to be a litany of stuff and giggles from sun-up to 11pm at which point I fall asleep on the couch. I am not complaining though. life is good.

I swear on the bones of my ancestors I will blog more regularly. No, really! I will write more to certain yous; but it might not be you in particular who I write to..

On another note, we got pulled over and ticketed today for an expired registration. It expired in April so we've been just begging for a ticket. I'm really surprised we made it this long without one. For three months now I've been driving around in a hyper-sensitive, hyper-alert state; watching constantly for black, white, and blue cars with lightbars and spotlights, etc. It's stupid, I know, but I think I've been doing a friggin good job of it. So imagine my surprise when an unmarked red charger pulled up behind me at a light, (almost rear-ending me while talking on a cell phone in case you were wondering) and proceeded to pull me over.

Like I said, it's been a long time coming so I've got no room to complain. I'm almost glad, actually, that it went down that way; as opposed to, for example, me missing a marked crown vic coming at me from a mile away in my rear view mirror. And yes, I am going to get the registration done :) I never intended not to do it, but anything that has me waiting in line for 2 hours just to hand someone a check tends to end up at the bottom of my to-do list.

Must be a nut job…

Anyone who's ever had a serious political discussion with me (all 2 of you) knows that I have been, and continue to be, a big supporter of Ron Paul (little known fact: RP and I are actually spit brothers).

So with all the news lately surrounding the mortgage crisis and the housing market bail-out (specifically, the government's bailing-out of Freddie Mac and Fannie Mae), it's a good time to start to seriously questioning whether Ron Paul is in fact human, or if he is (as I have long suspected) actually a cyborg from the future sent to protect us from the apocalypse.

So I know you're thinking now "Of course, it all makes sense now! He's a cyborg from the fut... wait... a what? from when? to do what?"

Don't worry, I can prove it. Here's a quote from Ron Paul addressing the House of Representatives in July of 2002; just over six years ago:

http://www.house.gov/paul/congrec/congrec2002/cr071602.htm

Simply put, Ron Paul could not possibly have been any more right (clairvoyant?) about the situation we are currently in. Even if that address were to be given a month from now, a more accurate assessment of the situation could not be made. He was right when he predicted it 6 years ago, in fact he's been right about a lot of things for over 30 years now. And the best part about it all? 95% of the nation has no idea who or what I'm talking about. Which leads me to my next conclusion:

If even a 10th of the American population was smarter than a pile of rocks (not excluding myself in any way here) we might manage to elect a decent president (or politician at any level of government for that matter) at some point during my lifetime... I am certainly NOT holding my breath.

"You can always count on Americans to do the right thing - after they've tried everything else." -Winston Churchill

iMadness

I saw this and immediately thought of The Orb. Just imagine that the guy on the left is The Orb and the girl on the right is.... anybody he knows in real life.

(to be fair, I'd be the one brooding in the corner wishing I had a new iPhone too)

Canadian Bulldog, eh?

So if any of you have ever played tug of war with Duke, you know that he wins about 99.99% of the time and won't let go unless you say "drop it". He's even dragged some of you across the floor while playing with his green ball. That said, he is much gentler with the baby. He snuggles up to her and lets her play with his ears and when he's had enough, he just walks away. So today she found his ball and this video shows how he was acting with her:

Let the Record Show

I you weren't there for Wudan's "Out of control" moment then you should go over to Sukie's blog and re-read it one last time before reading on.

The day after we all got back from the trip my mom called and asked if we had noticed anything wrong with the brakes on the van. I had notcied when I picked up the van that the brakes seemed a little unresponsive, but since I don't drive it that often I just figured I wasn't used to the way it handled. So after my first couple intersections I got used to the brakes and didn't think anything more of it. When Sukie took over driving I imagine the same thing happened; she just got used to the brakes the way they were and didn't think much of it. So when we made Wudan take the wheel (he was the only one in the car who had sunglasses) at the top of a fairly big and extremely curvy, tree-covered hill, while driving straight into the sun, it shouldn't have been too suprising that he had a small mental breakdown :)

It turns out the master brake cylinder needed replacing.

So, Wudan, this is for you:
[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oaj_nRQA4Q4]

For Scooter

Yet another

post about the 4th of July. Those of you who didn't go to Caliente for the 4th will probably be sick of hearing all of our stories about it by the time we're done, but here's another account of the travels.

For Frik and I, we started out the trip by realizing that our brake lights do not come on at all and so deciding that it wold be a bad idea to take our car on a road trip. We called up his mom who very generously allowed us to take her van in exchange for some favors around the house. We packed 8 people (Me, Frik, Squirt, Sukie, Wudan, the boy, Guildylocks& David) in and hit the road for Caliente.

I realized very early on in our trip that I had left my SD card at home, which was a bummer since we just bought a new digital camera. Because of this, I had to rely on Sukie and Guildylocks' cameras for any pictures that I wanted, which was lame. By the 5th of July, we headed to the "true value" to see if they sold SD cards, which they did... for $80 for a 2 gig. Yeah, I don't think so.

I got to hold Jack Jack a lot on this trip. He is such a cutie! The first night that I was there, he was already asleep, but Chaelomen transferred him to my arms and I held him while they headed to the Brandin Iron for dinner. When he woke up, he was a little distressed, so I went down the road to find them. Turns out the restaurant was closed so I started walking to the motel. A train started coming right as we crossed the tracks, and since it was dark, the lights caught his attention. It whistled a few times just outside of town, which didn't seem to bug him, but then whistled again right at the intersection and he started screaming right into my shoulder. Poor little guy. I know I wasn't quite the comfort to him that he was really looking for, so I hurried to the hotel and passed him off to his momma.

Breakfast on the 4th was fun. Mom had fun showing off her 2 grandbabies and the 2 grandbabies actually got to interact with each other a bit, which was cute. I think they are starting to look more alike, too, which is fun. Dub sprayed the sleeping Squirt with a fire hose and got in big trouble. Even the lady with the strangely inverted belly fat was pissed.

I was worried about the fireworks show with Alice. She was getting sleepy about a half hour before it was scheduled to start, so Sukie helped her fall asleep. She didn't wake up for the first half of the show, and I was debating whether or not to wake her up. Finally, Sukie made the decision for me and woke the baby up and she liked it. Just stared off at the fireworks and looked back at me a couple of times and didn't seem bothered by the noise at all.

We realized on the 5th that we should have brought some board games, so we went to "downtown" and bought monopoly and some cards and dice. I also had my first encounter with "rockband" which was everything that I imagined it to be. I'm glad that people have fun playing this game, and I don't mind watching, but I'm not really one of them. :)

The drive back was mostly uneventful. Stopped in Cedar for some N'Orleans food which was tasty and had to pull over and walk around the side of the road to keep the boy from throwing up. We also had to yell at Frik that he was not allowed to play the dice game while he was driving. I think my favorite moment from the car trip was blasting Michael Jackson and trying to sing along even though none of us knew the words.

Poor Squirt is now sick, snotty and congested. I feel bad for her. She is much needier than normal and can't really sleep without me holding her, which is a lot of work for me, too. Hopefully we didn't expose too many people and no one else gets sick!

Yikes

Best Misheard Lyrics Ever